Jan17

Cutting and Psalm 77

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The first time I remember really engaging with my faith was my junior year of high school. I was had a friend (who I was hopeful would become a girlfriend) who was cutting.
She told me. And we talked about it a ton. And I got depressed. Like really depressed.
Suddenly the God I’d grown up knowing felt really far away. And I felt broken. My life was not perfect and I knew then that brokenness was everywhere. The whole world was broken. So I opened my bible to find something that might speak to me. I found Psalm 77:

“When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted…

Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his face again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?”

And what was this promise? To fix the world. But I didn’t see it.
Night after night I groaned with the psalmist. Until eventually… it started to click. I kept reading. Later in Psalm 77, the psalmist talks about all they years of God’s faithfulness. And I decided that if God were faithful then, he would be faithful to me too.
Things I’d always knew started becoming clearer. The world was broken, yes, but God made a promise to fix things and show us new life. I think that’s what Jesus is all about—saving us from a broken world and our own broken tendencies.
That’s my psalm story.

KJ Van Ek

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